'tis the season

It's official - my favorite time of the year is finally here!

Christmas hasn't been the same for me in a couple years. In the past, Christmas meant no school and getting to go home to my family. It meant staying up late with my dad on Christmas Eve, going to the midnight church service with him. I always sat up front, right in front of him. When it came time to turn off the lights and light candles throughout the congregation, he always lit mine first, and I passed it on to the next person. That quick second between us during that service was what I looked forward to every year. For that brief moment, it was just me and him, celebrating Christmas. Nothing else in the room mattered. He stood next to me as we sang Silent Night in the candlelight. Every year. It never changed. That was usually the only time I saw him on Christmas.

Growing up, my dad was always working. He was more than the town's pastor - he was everyone's best friend. When someone needed to talk, he was there. A spur of the moment wedding? He'd say give him ten minutes, and probably show up in five. A funeral? If there was no family, or nobody to celebrate that person's life with, he'd find people. He did all services free. He taught guitar to anyone willing to learn, including me until I thought I was too old to hang out with Dad on Saturday mornings. If someone wanted to learn, and couldn't afford a guitar - it was no big deal. He had an entire collection and was comfortable with loaning them out (this also included the first guitar he bought me - he loaned it out to a little boy that wanted to play). I'm a lot like him in that way - I trust people. Or, I used to, rather.

People respected him, and I understand why now. Back then, I resented him. I was angry at him all the time, for choosing his career before his family. I remember times when he'd back out of taking me shopping, or giving me a ride to a friend's house, because someone else was in need. I know I said things to him that really hurt him. I can't take those things back, but I have definitely learned from them.

I haven't been to a Christmas church service since he passed away.

Still, though, this is definitely my favorite time of year. I love going to all of the shops and seeing all of the decorations and hearing the music and just feeling the excitement and energy in the air. I love watching the snow fall silently (though our snow has already melted and it feels more like a rainy spring than anything right now).

I love hearing the bell ringers outside of stores, raising money to help families this time of year. When I was a little girl, I used to beg for some change to put in their cans. Now that I'm older and more self-sufficient, I put in a little more. I carry cash this time of year for that purpose.

I love driving around at night with hot chocolate, listening to Christmas music (lately it's been Michael Buble's new Christmas album) and looking at all of the decorated houses.

I love baking, and cooking This season has the best foods and scents.

Alright - this is too long of a post with no real purpose. Here's some recipes of what I'll be making for Christmas dinner this year. Enjoy!

The best turkey you can imagine - slow cooked to perfection. Served with, you guessed it, slow cooked mashed potatoes. We're also going to be making some cranberry sauce, but I don't have a recipe for those yet. I'm debating also making some of these green beans, or these ones. And of course I'll also be making my famous stuffing.

And for dessert? These cupcakes are to die for. Seriously. So. Good.

Happy holidays, everyone.