I haven't blogged in a while, but lately I've felt the need to. If for no other reason, at least I'll be getting these thoughts out of my head rather than letting them pile up so high that I can't pick them apart. Who knows, maybe nobody will read this. Maybe someone will. Either way, I'm glad to be here.

Lately I've been feeling lonely. I'm living in a house with three other people, I'm surrounded by family, and I know a lot of people. So why this feeling? It's hard to say, but even harder to ignore. I try texting people, and sometimes they even answer. But for the most part I just don't know what to say anymore.

I sat down with a friend today. I hadn't seen him in weeks, but we immediately got back to talking just like before. Though mostly small talk, it was relieving to see a familiar face, and to really laugh again. We made some plans for my birthday, mostly involving live music and his far-fetched dreams to get me on stage. Hopefully these plans come together. Hopefully people show up.

I think what really has me feeling this way lately was hearing from an ex a few days ago. I hadn't heard from him in a long time, and I was okay with that. The message he sent reminded me of a lot of old times, with mutual friends and just how happy we were. I don't miss being with him, not at all. But I do miss that time and that feeling. He was also there for me when my dad died. In fact, we started dating that summer, almost exactly four years ago. I'm finding it's harder to get over something like that than I thought.

But in the end, I've always been tough. I've always found a way through the worst of situations and that isn't about to change now.

- kmg