sleep? what's that?

Well, well, well... It seems my on again/off again relationship with insomnia is back on. Just when I thought we were completely through, insomnia has won me over once again. It doesn't matter that I only slept four hours last night, or that I followed six hours of straight physical labor with six hours straight of driving (which, let me tell you, is really mentally draining). No, my body doesn't care about any of that. It's going on 1:30am and my mind just wants to party.

So what do I think about on these nights? Just about everything. Why the world is round, what makes my dog think he can bite waves in the water... I've spent more time than I like to admit to wondering who the heck looked at a head of lettuce and thought "Mmm, leaves! Tasty!". Don't get me wrong, I like lettuce and all, but thats not the point. That initial lettuce thought would lead to wondering who won the rights to name the plant, and how they thought of lettuce. And from there I'd wonder why it was called a head. And so on, and so on. You get the point. The most random and useless thoughts flow through my head as if I have nothing better to do than ponder things that need not be pondered.

I often try to divert my thoughts to something more useful, trying to schedule out my next day, week, or even month if I'm feeling ambitious. Sometimes I try to figure out a personal budget for myself. Other times I try to work on creative things - writing or playing music, reading, painting, etc. Usually though, all of this backfires on me leaving me even more wide awake and frustrated.

What are some successful ways to put yourself to sleep, not including drugs or alcohol?

My friend Dave once sent me a cd of music that's supposed promote sleep, and it does work for the most part. I'm kind of afraid to use it when I have to wake up at a certain time, though, as it seems to put me into a deep sleep when I let it. On the best of mornings, three alarms have a difficult time getting me out of bed. I'm not sure they'd work if I used this to fall asleep.

Someone, and I forget who now, once suggested that as I'm laying in the dark, I should try and think of dreams I recently had, in hopes that I'd fall back in to them. I tried is once or twice, but I didn't get far. My dreams are mostly either terrifying, disturbing, or both. Not exactly things you want to think of when trying to sleep, and definitely not dreams you want to fall in to.

Sigh. Tomorrow promises to be another long day. I hope where ever you are reading this, whoever you are, that sleep finds you easily, and that you sleep well.

Good night, world.

- kmg